Why so many questions Canada? Sheesh!
And, really, asking us twice about owning the van? I know that it is a shockingly sweet ride but, please, give us a little credit for our amazing style.
Sorry the volume is low. (Apologizing for everything. It's the Canadian way.)
See (embellished) transcript below.
Video Link
Transcript:
Jon: Good Evening.
Canadian Inquisitor: Hello.
CI: Just two of you in there?
J: Yes.
Ellen: Yeah.
CI: Were do you live?
J: Ahhhh... Arizona [or... Colorado? or.... IN THIS SWEET-ASS VAN!]
CI: What's the purpose for this trip?
J: Ahhhh... We are going to visit Vancouver. Uhhh... Vacation.
CI: And how long were you planning?
J: Ahhh... Probably, at the most, three...
E: Two days.
J: ...two or three days...
CI: How long have you planned this trip?
J: Ahhh... [Wait... what? How are my organizational skills coming into play here? How is this relevant?] We've been traveling the U.S. for a couple months now and ah, so, we had always planned to come up here...
CI: ...yeah...
J: ...the matter of when was not certain, but uh, ah, we're booked for a hotel tonight and ah, may or may not extend that... [We're seriously not terrorists. Ask yourself, CI: Why would terrorists book a hotel?]
CI: K.
CI: What do you do for work?
J: [Now this is getting personal. Have you been looking for a good dentist, CI? There are better ways to find one, CI.] That's a good question! [...laughter...] Ellen and I actually just ...ahh... left our jobs to do this trip up around the states here and then ...ahhh... in about four months we'll be traveling overseas.
E: [TMI, J.] ...living on savings.
CI: [TMI, J.] What did you do?
J: I'm a computer programmer so, eventually, my goal is to do some contract work and... continue a traveling kind of lifestyle... as long as we can. [In countries that DON'T ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS!]
CI: All right. So, are you husband / wife? Is that it?
J: Yes. [Just like Bonnie and Clyde.]
E: Yeah. [By the way, where is the nearest bank?]
CI: This vehicle is yours?
J: [Beaming with pride] Yes it is.
CI: Did your wife do the same kind of work, er...? [She looks like she could be a dentist.]
E: No. I worked for Medtronic, a medical device company. I was in the sales department so... I don't know what I'm gonna do. [...laughter...] Maybe be his business manager. I don't know.
J: [...laughter... Oh, she's already managing my business... ]
CI: Where are you travelling to after; you said you were going overseas? (...to IRAN?!?)
J: We'll probably... yeah... we'll continue across the northern Americas and then um...
E: [That was not the question, dude.] Holland first. We have a wedding in Holland. And then ah.... probably Europe and maybe a little bit of Southeast Asia until the holidays. Maybe... Hopefully. If our money lasts. [...laughter...]
CI: This is your vehicle, right? [You trust fund babies are honestly driving this thing around?]
J: Yes it is. [Still proud.]
E: Yeah.
CI: And do you have any weapons, then, in your vehicle?
E: HmMm.
J: No.
E: We were strictly warned that we... [...laughter...]
J: No firearms. [But a big can of bear mace and a little machete are OK, right?]
E: Nothing, yeah. [Don't you dare mention the machete.]
CI: OK. [Against my better judgment, I'll grant you crazy people entrance to Canada but, I'll be looking for this van on the evening news in the next couple of days.]
E: Thank you.
J: Thank you very much. Have a good day! [Thank God we made it!]
E: Where should I put these [passports]? You think in here, probably?
J: Sure.
E: [whispered] That was a lot of questions...
Indeed.
And, really, asking us twice about owning the van? I know that it is a shockingly sweet ride but, please, give us a little credit for our amazing style.
Sorry the volume is low. (Apologizing for everything. It's the Canadian way.)
See (embellished) transcript below.
Video Link
Transcript:
Jon: Good Evening.
Canadian Inquisitor: Hello.
CI: Just two of you in there?
J: Yes.
Ellen: Yeah.
CI: Were do you live?
J: Ahhhh... Arizona [or... Colorado? or.... IN THIS SWEET-ASS VAN!]
CI: What's the purpose for this trip?
J: Ahhhh... We are going to visit Vancouver. Uhhh... Vacation.
CI: And how long were you planning?
J: Ahhh... Probably, at the most, three...
E: Two days.
J: ...two or three days...
CI: How long have you planned this trip?
J: Ahhh... [Wait... what? How are my organizational skills coming into play here? How is this relevant?] We've been traveling the U.S. for a couple months now and ah, so, we had always planned to come up here...
CI: ...yeah...
J: ...the matter of when was not certain, but uh, ah, we're booked for a hotel tonight and ah, may or may not extend that... [We're seriously not terrorists. Ask yourself, CI: Why would terrorists book a hotel?]
CI: K.
CI: What do you do for work?
J: [Now this is getting personal. Have you been looking for a good dentist, CI? There are better ways to find one, CI.] That's a good question! [...laughter...] Ellen and I actually just ...ahh... left our jobs to do this trip up around the states here and then ...ahhh... in about four months we'll be traveling overseas.
E: [TMI, J.] ...living on savings.
CI: [TMI, J.] What did you do?
J: I'm a computer programmer so, eventually, my goal is to do some contract work and... continue a traveling kind of lifestyle... as long as we can. [In countries that DON'T ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS!]
CI: All right. So, are you husband / wife? Is that it?
J: Yes. [Just like Bonnie and Clyde.]
E: Yeah. [By the way, where is the nearest bank?]
CI: This vehicle is yours?
J: [Beaming with pride] Yes it is.
CI: Did your wife do the same kind of work, er...? [She looks like she could be a dentist.]
E: No. I worked for Medtronic, a medical device company. I was in the sales department so... I don't know what I'm gonna do. [...laughter...] Maybe be his business manager. I don't know.
J: [...laughter... Oh, she's already managing my business... ]
CI: Where are you travelling to after; you said you were going overseas? (...to IRAN?!?)
J: We'll probably... yeah... we'll continue across the northern Americas and then um...
E: [That was not the question, dude.] Holland first. We have a wedding in Holland. And then ah.... probably Europe and maybe a little bit of Southeast Asia until the holidays. Maybe... Hopefully. If our money lasts. [...laughter...]
CI: This is your vehicle, right? [You trust fund babies are honestly driving this thing around?]
J: Yes it is. [Still proud.]
E: Yeah.
CI: And do you have any weapons, then, in your vehicle?
E: HmMm.
J: No.
E: We were strictly warned that we... [...laughter...]
J: No firearms. [But a big can of bear mace and a little machete are OK, right?]
E: Nothing, yeah. [Don't you dare mention the machete.]
CI: OK. [Against my better judgment, I'll grant you crazy people entrance to Canada but, I'll be looking for this van on the evening news in the next couple of days.]
E: Thank you.
J: Thank you very much. Have a good day! [Thank God we made it!]
E: Where should I put these [passports]? You think in here, probably?
J: Sure.
E: [whispered] That was a lot of questions...
Indeed.
Should have told him you were coming to catch some Canucks games. Keep your hair greasy and tell them you are big Luongo fans.
ReplyDelete[Sorry - that is a hockey reference, and I know you Americans may not understand the allusion]
Yeah, that sounds like the questions they ask when you land in London. It gets pretty heavy. Honestly I think they start hassling when they find out you're unemployed.... guess they're more worried about panhandlers than terrorists. I just started telling people I was a writer and it was much smoother sailing.
ReplyDelete-DW
@Terry: Sorry, missing the NHL reference. But, know that I did smile a big smile when we passed a random pub today and instead of NFL, Bud Light was promoting NHL. It's the little differences...
ReplyDelete@Dave: I remember you mentioning the writer thing. Now I just need to remember to actually USE it the next time I roll through customs! Thanks for the reminder!
You could even tell them with full confidence that you're a "freelance computer programmer". I gotta believe you're cleaning up some systems for people in exchange for bread and / or beds along your travels.
ReplyDelete-DW
You might have told them you were outside consultants for the US Dept. of Homeland Security and were checking up on the efficiency of the Canadian Border Patrol... aye
ReplyDelete@Anonymous: lol... We just went back through to the US a few hours ago. It took roughly 45 seconds.
ReplyDelete